Brad Pitt’s Penis & Bono’s Face

This week our comedy night was hosted by the magnificent Adam Greene who successfully whipped the Clapham crowd into a pantomime frenzy making sure each of the acts were thoroughly welcomed on stage.

First up was Martin Croser who conjured up the latest in superheros in “Wheelchair Man” before revealing his very own special power – Brad Pitt’s penis.  Should Martin’s plans work out he’ll be on an exotic beach in no time…

Keeping the laughs going Nick Elleray shared his poetic side and helped raise awareness for the month of Pubery before giving out some tips for online dating profiles and confiding what happened when he announced his relationship on facebook

Darren Ford started off the second half in style by announcing that he would be doing most of his act with a plastic bag with Bono’s face attached over his head. Which he did. Telling the true story of why U2 had to cancel Glastonbury.

New Zealander Jan Maree confided that she was becoming more English with her developing love of baths and cheese and onion sandwiches.  As well as changing the way people think about Liverpool accents.

Gareth Morinan provided a fantastic high tech finish to the show, who knew a cow could fit into the speakers?  He reviewed the highlights of 2012 and afterwards managed to keep any discussion strictly monologue.

A great night – thanks to all our brilliant acts!

Bandana massacre!

Another fortnight, another night full of comedy and a ten minute break!

But where was Murray Porter? Maybe we screwed up the diary and he’s due another day..

Anyway, Matthew Highton was a strong start indeed. There was some free-form Bowie, some classic joke forms and the definitive goose strangling routine. All done beneath hair that no one else would be worth.

Tom Holmes bashed the gig’s backdoors in like a thousand mini Michael Caines. He won the crowd over as thoroughly with his Berkshire filth as Matthew had with his Good Food Show big tent surrealism.

Darius Davies is never the same twice and this time was no exception and if you’ve seen him be the same twice that’s probably because him being the same twice is actually him being different from what he normally is, never the same twice.

Anyway, rather magnificently he won the audience back round comprehensively after a forthright discussion with a game guy in a beret. Better than normal success, is success wrung from the mouth of disaster (well, temporary difficulty). And Darius did this. Then, magnificently, he went back! “If I had a gun I would massacre you all, just so no one would know what has happened here tonight, just now”.

The true measure of wealth is when you can afford to be this frivolous with something a lesser act would have to sweat to earn. A hero, a gentleman and a pleasure to have on.

We had a break and then Steven Burt was charm itself with jokes, some discussion of the chairs and some solid work about hands. These were the same hands he had written his material on, and there was a palpable sigh of disappointment when he told the crowd “I’m afraid that was all the jokes I had room to write on my hands”.

After such a relentlessly high standard, bearded elf man-boy James Shakeshaft could only fail by comparison – BUT DIDN’T! and he closed the evening on a considerable high.A recap quiz, surnames, dreams and the Secret Milliner – it had it all.

This week’s mystery prize: A gravy separator.

A good night had by all! Come!